New Tattoo

Hope you all are happily suprised to find out that I got a new tattoo yesterday.

I went in hoping to get this.

Came out having gotten this:

Must say - it came out beautiful!! It wasnt as random as Id like to claim. It was actually something I was considering and was a lot cheaper and Im more than happy with it. Its on my back right under my butterfly. It directly translates as "day by day devotion to ones self growth".

Nicole from Yamagata City came with me. She got four very cute stars on her lower back that were very well done! The lady was wonderful, but was a bit irritating when she kept having to stop to answer the phone and help other customers, but what can you do when the receptionist hasnt arrived yet?!

They lady is a fantastic artist in my opinion and I reccomend her to anyone in Japan who wants a tattoo, but warning tattoos are about twice as expensive in Japan as they are in America. And tattoos are very very addicting! WARNING...

So all I have to say is... what will I get done next.....

Another friend gone....

I recently came to the realization that the reasons why a friend liked me were all a lie. How can you tell someone that you value a quality about them and then turn on them and hate them, talking behind their back about the same things that they did that you used to like? I guess some people value qualities about a person, except for when those qualities are aimed at them in a negative way.

There are drama queens in this world. Trust me, I know first hand, don't really believe I am one, but my mother is the definition of a drama queen. I don't like drama queens (but I love my mother). I think I have been caught in so much drama from other drama queens that I now am cautious about steering clear of them. And once again I let a drama queen in my life and I got burnt. But when you get burnt by a drama queen they feel the need to bring EVERY person you have in common into the picture to make them feel better. Its so ridiculous.

Out of fairness, I have been thinking. Did I push this drama queen into madness??

I'm getting ready to move somewhere new and that essentially means leaving many friends behind. Maybe I self consciously pushed this person into craziness in order to get mad back and therefore, essentially make it easier to leave them when the time comes. (Oh if only I thought that complexly). I doubt I'm doing that, but deep down know its somewhat of a possibility.

Sadness fills my heart when I think of loosing a friend. People dint value friendship enough in this world and it truly is a difficult thing to come by. In my mind... another friend gone.....

Love rant

I can complain about my love life all I want!! Its my blog!

My flirt friend got married this week. Another one down, me still left.

You know those people that you have in the back of your mind... the ones you think to yourself "Well they can be my fall back" or "at least I will always have them around" or "I can depend on them being single with me" or "At least I know I have a flirt friend forever"..... I have fewer and fewer of those these days.

I guess 20's are the time to get married, I don't want to say I hope, but in my vengeful lonely state I kind of do hope that 30's are the time to get divorced. Then more people can be bitter or pretend to be happily single like I do.

I'm picky.

That's what it comes down to.

I find all kind of "Good guys", really, like the kind that could be a priest, the kind that care and are so loving.... I love you "good guys", but gag me. Have some adventure! Get out! Do something wild and crazy! Life is too short to be a "good" person. I find "bad boys", oh do I love the "bad boys", but who am I kidding! I'm wayyyyy too "good" for them! And their wild and childish behavior drives me nuts... in a bad way. Then I find the "Desperate guys", I could be married by now if I accepted all the guys that meet me a few times and think "I'm the one" for them! GAG me twice!

What I ha vent found is someone "right". I guess one might claim this is because I have never really "Loved" someone before. And maybe you are right. But I'm almost 25! Isn't it time I find someone to love or a person that I can care about and adore. I know I ask for the impossible in a mate and I know I'm picky, but I'm human too.

Can't I be the princess I know I am and have prince charming sweep me off my feet already!!!!

Is that too much to ask?!

August will be my "Me Month"

So I have been thinking since I last posted. And I concluded that August will be my "Me Month".

By "Me Month" I decided that I will keep looking for jobs (I'm actually now thinking I will open my mind and job opportunities to Event Planning), but will not agree to start until September so that I can do some ME things. I want to clean my stuff out of my mothers shed, help her get some new screen doors, help her do some interior painting and what not. I want to take an art class or two and go to parks and paint out doors like I have always wanted to. I want to have dinner parties and/or BBQs for family and friends whom I haven't spent enough time with in the past decade or so. And I want to see some people whom I have either never met or lost contact with (you know who you are... and I say... its time). I want to go to orchestras, musicals and ballets. I want to do free, yet insightful things that I have been too busy to do.

August will be my "Me month".

3-4 months an counting

Its the final stretch and I feel more lost than ever.

I'm such a planner, I have things set way in advanced. Look up my name in the dictionary and it will state " The furthest thing from a procrastinator". With that being understood you all can sympathize with my frustration, stress and desire to give up on life. In 3 months my contract here in Japan is up and I have decided not to renew it. However, I have not been able to secure my future yet. I have been looking for a teaching job since January, I have had a few offers and turned them down and I have also gotten my hopes up and had them smashed. I hate not knowing where I will be and what I will be doing 3 months from now... for me it feels like not knowing where you will be living or how you will pay for your food tomorrow. I'm going insane and getting discouraged.

I want to give up.

I wish I were a "Giver up-er", it would make life so much easier.

So I decided that if I don't find the right job for me I wont stress and I will go back home and get a few things done (over due things) like clean my stuff out of my moms shed, help her do some house maintenance and what not. And then look for places in Hawaii and DC while I am in California and if need be start some schooling in Early Childhood Development or Special Education. That all seems so logical and you all will tell me its a great plan but its like getting second place when you know you could have gotten first if you just tried harder. I would feel like a failure if I did that. I want to start my career, in my own way, in my own apartment, doing things at my own pace (which is usually a fairly fast pace).



Changing the subject.

So I started packing up somethings, throwing things out and giving stuff away this week. Its so expensive to ship stuff home so if I do it a little at a time it shouldn't be so cost burdening. And I'm an early bird and three months is not long so it made sense to start now. I also started thinking about the things I want to accomplish, do and see before I leave Japan. Most of which include finding time to do "Quality" things with those whom I care about here. Its sad to think that another stage in my life has passed. Nagai, Japan is home and leaving home is never easy. Even if you swear you are going to visit.

For those of you out there reading this whom are getting ready to leave too, good luck to you.

Spring Vacation

For spring vacation I went back home to San Fransisco and Seattle.

The first half of my vacation I spent time with my sister doing sisterly things. We went shopping, had lunch, played games, went to the movies and had a few drinks. We had a really good time just being sisiters.

The second half of my vacation I went to Seattle. 10 of my family members and myself rented an RV and drover about 15 hours from San Fran to Seattle. We had a great time chit chatting and catching up, they were very surpised to see me. When we arrived in Yelm, Washington my aunt was shocked when I surpised her. (I was the only one missing from the family party and pictures and it wasnt until last minute that things worked out so I was able to attend). We had a girls and boys day and caught up on family times. I even got to see my new baby cousin Masion!! I was so excited to see him, such a good baby with a killer smile! We took family portriats and then had a big family BBQ for my Aunt's 65th birthday! I got to see a lot of people I havent seen in a long time!!

One week was a short time for a vacation, but it was worth it! I enjoyed every minute of it!

My dad and sister

My cousin Bobby, his wife Krysta and their beautiful baby Mason

My cousin Krissy and I

Chris's Soirée

Chris had another wonderful Soiree on March 29th. Everyone dressed up beautifully, contributed some great art work and gathered for good food and drinks!

Jenny came in a beautiful Chinese-style blue dress and won best dressed. Kat made some wonderful sketches that won her best art work. Kathrine read some intense poetry. And at midnight we even celebrated Bridgetts birthday and our host serinaded us beautifully as usual.

I hope that Chirs thinks about hosting another one soon!

Jenny and her beautiful Chinese dress

Bridgettes birthday cake

Kathrines poetry reading

Maggy, JD and I looking good

I have no idea what JD and Monique are doing, but its entertaining