I can’t sleep. That’s nothing new really. I go through bits of insomnia. Times where my mind refuses to shut off and I am tortured with thinking about all the things I should or need to be doing instead of being in a deep, peaceful sleep.
My mind turns and races thinking about things that range from absolutely pointless to so important I feel a need to get up walk across my freezing apartment barefoot just to write it down so I don’t forget. You have no idea how long those lists get sometimes.
Tossing and turning in my used to be neatly made bed, getting tangled like a butterfly in a spiders’ web twisting, rolling, and unaware of which direction is up and which is down. Watching the spider (in my case Mr. Sandman) laughing at me knowing that I’m caught and cant get out and the more I think about it or move the more I will be unable to fall asleep. And then out of exhaustion I will finally drift off asking myself if this time I will stay asleep. Only to hear a faint buzzing noise grow louder and louder before realizing that its actually my alarm yelling at me to wake up with a smug like wicked smile. I curse the alarm like the blankets and Mr. Sandman and they join in an evil laughter knowing that my day is already doomed.
I will then shower and most-likely be running late. I will forget to eat breakfast or forget to take out the trash and not realize until I’m in the middle of a class attempting to be entertaining to my students. I will be half asleep at lunch time and I will drag throughout the day. When my 8pm class rolls around I will be struggling to keep my eyes open. Finally when the clock has struck 9:00 I will give a sigh of relief and head home. I will be so excited to end my day I will turn on the TV or surf the net without realizing that it’s already midnight and I’m not tired. And then my cycle of insomnia will continue.
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