Is Japanese Kindness Really Kind?

Have you ever noticed that Japanese people NEVER have anything "bad" to say??

Think about it:

• You go out to eat, eat at school or cook something for them after the first bite they ALWAYS sat "Umai" or "Oishi" (delicious). They never say "ewwww" or "not so good".

• You go to see a movie and you hate it so when they ask you "What did you think?" You honestly say "The ending was bad." or "It wasn't my cup of tea." and the Japanese person nods in agreeance, but doesn't go as far as to add something that would be negative.

• Where you work you do something that is undoubtedly wrong and your co-workers never scold you like they would another Japanese person instead they just let it slide. And you don't think anything of it until you hear about how you did something wrong though the gossip mill.

The only time I feel like I have truly made a good friend in Japan is the first time I hear them say something negative to me. This sounds odd, but I feel as if they actually care enough to say something honest instead of humble. I hate people that are just trying to be kind and humble instead of honest and straight forward. There are honestly kind and humble people in this world, but even they have bad days and disagree with others from time to time. This makes you human!!!

There are polite and rude ways to disagree and handle situations. Don't just ignore the situation or smile and nod even though you want to wring someones neck, just politely say you disagree or suggest that we, gaijin, don't do that again. We cant guess what you are thinking!!! We want to do things the right way, but how can we learn if you don't correct us!?

Caught in a web of insomnia

I can’t sleep. That’s nothing new really. I go through bits of insomnia. Times where my mind refuses to shut off and I am tortured with thinking about all the things I should or need to be doing instead of being in a deep, peaceful sleep.

My mind turns and races thinking about things that range from absolutely pointless to so important I feel a need to get up walk across my freezing apartment barefoot just to write it down so I don’t forget. You have no idea how long those lists get sometimes.

Tossing and turning in my used to be neatly made bed, getting tangled like a butterfly in a spiders’ web twisting, rolling, and unaware of which direction is up and which is down. Watching the spider (in my case Mr. Sandman) laughing at me knowing that I’m caught and cant get out and the more I think about it or move the more I will be unable to fall asleep. And then out of exhaustion I will finally drift off asking myself if this time I will stay asleep. Only to hear a faint buzzing noise grow louder and louder before realizing that its actually my alarm yelling at me to wake up with a smug like wicked smile. I curse the alarm like the blankets and Mr. Sandman and they join in an evil laughter knowing that my day is already doomed.

I will then shower and most-likely be running late. I will forget to eat breakfast or forget to take out the trash and not realize until I’m in the middle of a class attempting to be entertaining to my students. I will be half asleep at lunch time and I will drag throughout the day. When my 8pm class rolls around I will be struggling to keep my eyes open. Finally when the clock has struck 9:00 I will give a sigh of relief and head home. I will be so excited to end my day I will turn on the TV or surf the net without realizing that it’s already midnight and I’m not tired. And then my cycle of insomnia will continue.